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UPDATE:

On the subject of the toilets: I made an unannounced (and highly unofficial) visit to the Ladies loos the night before last, and once the screams had died down (sorry, girls) I was able to notice that their bogs are so much more pleasant than the Gents.

The last time I visited them was about 23 years ago when I was invited in to admire the superior quality of the graffiti on the walls - so much wittier than the Gents - but I was a little sad to see that there is virtually no graffiti at all these days.

So why are the gents so neglected as compared to the ladies? I know that boys are a lot dirtier than girls (sadly), but I do think that if a few examples are set, we could help each other keep up improved standards after a major clean-up.

Could it be a case of going in with descaler, disinfectant, a new seat for the crapper and a hose early one morning? If the lovely lady cleaner cannot be persuaded, is there a male volunteer? (Count me out...)